I’ve loved the song “My Funny Valentine”, especially the version by Ella Fitzgerald, from the moment I first heard it. It’s not just the melodic and languorous tune but also the clever lyrics. It has a person describing their less-than-perfect sweetheart.

Listen here: https://tinyurl.com/2s3ch6sw

It really struck me because when I started listening to it, I was in that immature romantic phase of life believing that my Valentine had to be a classical hero like the figure of Mars (and Venus) we see above- square jawed, strong, muscular body with an action-packed life that I could fit into with my wonderful wardrobe of fine clothes, long hair and fancy jewellery. The ready-made, perfect man who would love me, flaws and all, was out there, if I just waited long enough. He would appear with flowers and a song, falling in love with me forever and the instant spark would never diminish. In the meantime I would pass up romantic possibilities till “the One” arrived and we’d live happily ever after. Too many Hollywood films had shaped my expectation, I fear!

Sometimes when we project into the universe an impossible icon as being the only type we are (arrogantly) willing to consider, it is really a sign that we are lacking self-confidence, that we don’t think we are good enough inside to be loved and that by shooting for the stars, we are safe from disappointment. The trick is to love those who are near. It’s a good idea to practise loving acts and mindset- it doesn’t just happen. So if you treat the one you’re with as well as possible, as a unique plant that flourishes with more attention and kind regard, you will be a better person and will attract more love into your life. This applies even if it doesn’t work out as expected. It’s all a great learning experience in the most wonderful area of life- how to love and be loved.

Lyrics to:  My Funny Valentine

Behold the way our fine feathered friend,
His virtue doth parade
Thou knowest not, my dim-witted friend
The picture thou hast made
Thy vacant brow, and thy tousled hair
Conceal thy good intent
Thou noble upright truthful sincere,
And slightly dopey gent

You’re my funny valentine,
Sweet comic valentine,
You make me smile with my heart.
Your looks are laughable, un-photographable,
Yet, you’re my favorite work of art.

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?
But, don’t change a hair for me.
Not if you care for me.
Stay little valentine, stay!
Each day is Valentine’s Day

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?
But, don’t change a hair for me.
Not if you care for me.
Stay little valentine, stay!
Each day is Valentine’s Day.

So when I listened to this song with its tender, loving lyrics about a more average bloke, whose “figure is less than Greek”, whose “mouth is a little weak” it took the pressure off me to be perfect and to reconsider possible love interests who didn’t fit my unrealistic expectations. As a result, I met and fell in love with a wonderful guy, not a Hollywood- type, but one who treats me like his very own Venus, who still stirs my heart almost 14 years later and who looks more Mars-like as the years go by. He’s my real life hero. So thank you, Ella and Messrs Rogers and Hammerstein, for wakening me up to a reality that is far better than the fantasy. Now every day is Valentine’s Day.